Hold On
by Cold Toenails
Summary: What is Mitari's life is like? What made hime hate humans so much?
1. Chapter 1

Hold On Cold Toenails 

**3-3-05**

Mitari POV-

I walked home after another day of being tortured at school. Everyday I go through physical and emotional abuse. And that is just at school. Sometimes on good days, all people will do is knock me into a locker or name-calling. I can handle that. But they do other things that I don't like to speak about.

I reached my house. Its white paint was faded, dirty, and started to peel off. I twisted the cold doorknob and stepped inside. I watched my step to make sure I didn't step on any beer bottles left on the floor. The lights were off since my dad was trying to get some sleep during his hang over. I walked to my room, which contained a small bed, a dresser missing a leg, and an end table with an old lamp on top of it. I through my book bag into the corner and went to the kitchen.

I saw Mom sitting at the table. She smiled at me and then took a sip of coffee. My mom is the only light in my life. She is the only one who will listen to me and cares about me. I gave her a small, but fake smile. "So how was school?" she asked me. I shrugged not wanting to answer the question. She frowned. "Ok is that a yes or a no?" I shrugged again. She smiled and laughed a little.

She went to the cabinets and peered inside of them. They were empty. Again. "I'm going to go get some groceries," she said. "I'll be back around 5. Ok?" I nodded. She picked up the car keys from the counter. She was half way out the door when she stopped. "Be careful of your father. And don't forget, I love you."

"I love you too," I answered back. I watched her through the window as she drove away in the old blue van. I turned around to go to my room to do my homework, but something was in front of me. It was Dad. "Where did your mother go?" he asked in a ruff voice. I held my breath as he spoke to block the smell of alcohol. "So where is she?" he asked. He picked me up by the color of my shirt. I was a little more that half a foot off the ground. "She-she went to the store," I managed to stutter out.

"That better be the only place she went to," he said. The school burned in my nose. He through me against the wall and walked off. I waited till he left to get up. There was a tingly pain in my back that I felt every time that I took a step. I went to my room to try to do my homework.

I sat on the floor tapping my pencil against my math book. I don't really understand math, and I don't have anyone to help me with it. I scribbled down some scratch work on margin of the paper. 'Still not right,' I thought. I erased it and tried again.

I was almost done with the problem when the phone rang. Knowing that Dad wouldn't want to or cared to answer it, I went to go. I picked up the phone. "Hello Kiyoshi residence," I said into the phone. I paused and listened for some one to answer.

"Is your father there?" the person asked.

I hesitated. Should I disturb my dad? If I did I know that I would pay for it later. "Um no. He's busy at the moment. Can I help you?" The voice didn't come back. "Hello?" I asked.

"Kid we called to inform your father that your mother is in the hospital," the voice said. I dropped the phone and let it dangle by the cord. "Hello? Hello?" I heard the voice through the phone. "Is anyone there." I watched the phone swing back and forth. Back and forth. My world was turned upside down.

I hung up the phone and ran out the door. Even though it was cold I didn't bother to put a coat or anything to protect me from the cold. I ran as fast as I could to the hospital. My surrounding seemed to blur around me. I avoid people who were yelling at me to watch out. I ran through busy traffic causing cars to skid to a stop. I left the honking mess behind me.

I ran through the automatic door and strait to the waiting desk. I panted as the secretary turned in her chair. "Yes may I help you?" she asked me taking out the pencil from behind her ear.

"I'm looking for Ayame Kiyoshi," I said. "Can you tell me where her room is."

"Just a second," she said. She read down a list of people at the hospital. "Room 207." Before she could say anything else I took off into the direction of the room. I opened the door. I saw her lying on the bed. She had many tubes attached to her. I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. I turned around, it was the doctor. "What happened?" I asked him.

He sighed. "She was shot in the chest on the way to her car when she was leaving the groceries store. The bullet is very close to her heart. We will have to perform surgery to save her"

"Is she going to be ok?"

"There is a chance that she won't live," he said turning his eyes downward. I felt my eyes fog up with tears. I took a seat in a chair by her bed. I sat there and watched her, praying that she will make it through.


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I haven't updated for a long time, but I got some time today. So thanks to those who reviewed and for waiting.**

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The dreary funeral music filled the room. Lots of people have been coming up to me and saying they're sorry and shit like that. I don't understand why. They didn't do anything. I looked over at my father. He seemed to be enjoying this, like it was a party. I remained emotionless, not saying anything to the people that talked to me. My only answer was shaking my head or nodding. 

As you can guess, Mom didn't make it. She died during the surgery. Dad wanted her to be cremated because it was cheaper, I tried to convince him not to. But he never listens to me.

The weeks after were even harder because made me go to school. I woke up early to avoid Dad and his hang over. Since Mom's death he goes out every night to drink and I hardly ever see him. Not that I want to. I changed into my school clothes quick and tiptoed into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and cupboards. They were completely empty. We hadn't gone shopping since Mom had left, and we desperately needed food. I knew that Dad had a stash somewhere in his room. Maybe if I could take just a little no one would notice.

I walked as silently as I could to the door. The knob felt icy cold in my hand as I slowly turned it, trying to make as less sound as possible. I winced as the door slowly creaked. A moment went by, but Dad didn't stir. I slid through the small opening and lightly dashed over to his drawer. I took out twenty dollars, and left the room as fast as I could. I sat in the kitchen panting while I fixed some cereal. "What the fuck do you think you are doing you little bitch?" a low voice said from behind me.

"Making cereal," I said turning around to face my father. "Why?"

He struck me on the face. "Not that. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't," I lied holding the side of my face. Normally I wouldn't lie, but we really needed the food.

"God damn it you little liar!" He kicked me in the ribs and I fell to the ground.

"Now listen up you little shit," he said holding me up by my shirt so that we were face to face. "I know that you stole that money. Don't lie I saw you. Now what were you going to do with my money?"

I paused to think what I should say. "To buy groceries," I stuttered out. "We're out." For some time the everything stood still. Then he threw me against the wall. "Hurry up and get to school, I have stuff to do."

"But," I began to protest.

"I said go!" He hit me on the other side of the face. "That's what you get for disobeying me. Now get your ass to school." I ran to the door and grabbed my book bag. I shut the door just before what ever he threw at me hit my head. I don't like school. It's almost as bad as home. I do fine with my grades and schoolwork, but I just don't like going.

"Hey Mitari," Goro, a person that goes to my school, said putting an arm around me. I hate Goro, and like everyone else he hates me. "What's up?"

I tried to just keep walking and avoid him, but he just fallowed. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" I don't talk at school, not even to teachers. If I do its only a few words. "Come on, say something," he said pushing me to the ground.

"Just leave him alone you bastard," a boy with slicked back black hair said hitting him in head. Goro fell to the ground. "God he's annoying," who ever that was said muttered to himself, leaving me.

I just watched him walk away, not really understanding what had just happened. I snapped back to reality when I heard the first bell ring calling the students in. I picked myself off the ground and ran to the school.

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**Ok it's not that long, but I promise the next one will be. But some is better then none, right? Well, review, what ever. Byes!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I forgot I had this story! It's been almost a year since I updated! Heh, sorry for those who were waiting. Story time!**

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Some days being at home are worse then being at school. And some days it's not. Today was not one of those days. My math teacher, Mr. Uematsu has always hated me for some reason. I don't understand why. I have hardly ever said more then a couple of words to him, but he still insists on failing me. No matter how hard I try in that subject, I end up failing. But then again, I pretty much fail everything else in life so it really doesn't matter.

Today a new student came. Her name is Kaori Maitsunari and she is in most of my classes and her locker is near mine. She said hi to me once, but hat was pretty much it. She seems nice though. She has big brown eyes and shoulder length platinum blond hair with light pink highlights. Kaori didn't seem to be having a hard time fitting in, even though it was only her first day. A group of three girl already has taken her in as one of them, but I doubt that will last long. Hanna, Nami, and Amiira are the stuck up group of girls at our school. All to the girls fear them and want to be them, and just about all the guys worship them and would do anything to be with them. But Kaori isn't like them I think. She seems to be too nice.

I am in science class now. The teacher is completely insane. So far this year, Mr. Nakamura has set his desk on fire twice, managed to get himself almost fired numerous times, and had the school evacuated last week due to one of his experiments. It keeps the class interesting. But today was much more calm then previous classes. Today we were paired up into groups of two and were to go out and search the school grounds for bugs, different types of dirt and leaves, and any rocks for something he had planned for us.

I had Kaori for a partner.

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"Ooh a ladybug!" she said. She sat on her knees on the grass, studying it. "Where are we supposed to put the bugs?"

"The bag."

"But they'll die!"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes!" Kaori exclaimed. "It would be sad."

"It's just a bug."

"So, it's living. You're just a person. Would it be sad it you died?"

"No."

"I'd be sad," Kaori said as she sat the ladybug on her hand.

"You hardly even know me."

"It's sad when ever anything dies," she answered. "I think I'll just carry her around instead. Now what should we look for?" I told her that I didn't know. "Let's go dig up some dirt! Now where did he say those shovels are?"

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By the time of science class was over, I was starting to get use to Kaori. She was a little on the high strong side, but she is the only person that has ever made an effort to talk to me without wanting something in return.

She even fallowed me home after school. I was walking to my house, when suddenly she appeared in front of me. I asked her why was she was fallowing me. "You know what," she said. "I really don't know."

Neither of us said anything else as we carried on our journey. "Why did you say that today? About it wouldn't be sad if you died?"

I shrugged. "Only because it's true I guess. I really don't know why."

"Psh, you're weird."

"You're one to talk."

Kaori smirked. "Do you live around here? I live just up there." She pointed to a big white house with a neatly cut lawn. We passed her house.

"Aren't you going home?" I asked her.

"I feel like walking," Kaori said. She was looking up at the sky, watching two sparrows chase each other. After a moment of silence, she went on talking again. "I moved in with my cousin and his family after my parents died."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's ok. We really didn't get along anyways."

"How did they die?" I asked.

Kaori paused for a long time before talking again. "They were killed in a fire. A candle spilt over or something."

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

"It's ok," she said with a sigh. "But I like where I am now. It's not so quiet. And I don't have to go to that stupid private school anymore. The uniforms there were way worse then this. My last ones were this ugly green, but blue is cool." Kaori began to rant on some topic that I didn't quite catch. She was talking a little too fast. Soon she reached my home, and I had to tell her good bye.

"What?" she asked confused. "Oh! I'll see you tomorrow then Mitari." Kaori waved and took off in the direction of her home.

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When I got inside, my father was waiting. "Who was that girl you were with?" he asked.

"Kaori Maitsunari, a girl at my school," I answered quickly. I hesitantly asked why he asked.

"Just wondering," was all he said. He had a strange glint in his eyes that made me feel very uncomfortable. "Now go clean up while I'm gone." He grabbed his coat and headed out the door. "And this house better be spotless by the time I get back!"

As the sound of tires screeching and the sound of a car driving away came ad left, I sighed and went to go find where we kept the cleaning materials.

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And I'm done. I know no one neither reads this nor reviews it and this chapter sucked, but oh well. I updated for those who reviewed only because I love me fans. Heh I forgot that I wrote this story… That's about it…**

**With love,**

**CT**

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